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How to Make a Clanchief Blush

August 30, 2001

Okay, so I didn't really blush... but isn't that a great title? *g* Actually I'm still writing the update part of my first day of the MDRF 2001 season. I hope to have it done and up by Saturday morning. I know that may be small consolation to some of you, but you'll just have to deal. I did manage to finally get the pictures uploaded though. You can feast your eyes in the "MDRF 2001 - Weekend the First" room.

I know this is kind of short, but it's been another really busy week. Dinner with The Marcy was yummy. We both gorged ourselves on Swiss Chicken, rice and peas. Then she had to call John and Lisa for something so I got a rousing round of "Happy Birthday" via speaker phone. While we were watching "Army of Darkness", I managed to make Marcy's little eyes bug out and say "Really??". I warned her that paybacks would be forthcoming for the whole sordid Jacob's Ladder Incident so she has no one to blame but herself. *g* We scarfed down brownie sundaes while we bonded over a movie that is very special to our relationship... "Con Air"

Last night I went out to dinner with my mother and the Clanlad. Of course I ate entirely too much food again. I am just ready to explode. I probably shouldn't eat again until sometime in mid October.

And to answer the question that seems to be plaguing Wenches everywhere... no, I have NOT tried on the thong!

~ 7 coins donated

Happy Birthday to ME!!!

August 28, 2001

That's right O Beloved Reader, today is your Clanchief's birthday. :-) I'll be posting about my birthday weekend at MDRF, which just ROCKED, as soon as I can find the time to write the update. *g* I'll probably breakdown and post the pictures tomorrow at some point though. I know how you impatient little monkeys are.

As for today, I got lots of wishes by post, email and IM. :) I also got an autographed copy of Bruce Campbell's "If Chins Could Kill" from Sunni and Anneliese with Happy Birthday wishes from the man himself. *big cheeky grin* He's Rogue #400, y'know. Hmmm... I'll have to think of some way to thank both of those lovely Wenches. *EG*

Now I'm off to have dinner with The Leech Pimp and watch "Army of Darkness"!

~ 5 coins donated

A Quickie

August 24, 2001

This is going to be a short update. I managed to find some time and upload a few pictures that you might find interesting. As Sunni so eloquently conveyed in last Friday's update, I did indeed brave nature's fury to attend the Birthday Celebration of Ani Moorehead and Sunnidae on Saturday, August 11. Despite rumors to the contrary, I was never lost. I knew exactly where I was.... in DC. :-p Once we got there Polka music, naughty comments and bratwurst did abound.

This past Sunday's adventure to PA was relayed by Ani Moorehead on Wednesday. I think my editorial comments in that one pretty much speak for themselves. :-)

So there you have it. Two sets of pics to help fill up those lonely weekend hours. Gotta run for now, there will be more later!

~ 2 coins donated

Special Guest Star... Ani Moorehead

August 22, 2001

A Trip to PARF with the Clanchief
Rated PG-13 for innuendo, silly references to chickens and Three Naughty Bits.

The day started misty, gray and overcast. The Chieftain was late.

“I’m caught behind every Sunday driver on the road.” He growled into his cellphone to alert me to his untypical tardiness.

It was fine with me, I was in no hurry. I contemplated the two warnings I had received when I decided to carpool with Gareth to the PA Renfaire.

From Sunni: “Bring a map. Know where you are going ahead of time.” Good advice. I was prepared with directions, a map, a cooler full of tasty beverages and snacks. I was a girl scout for 12 years, dernit. I’m nothing if not prepared at all times. (Humphff... -ed)

From Danicia I got a more cryptic warning. “Gareth will drive. He always drives.” Oh yea?? We were going to take my car, so I don’t think so…. Needless to say, when Gareth finally showed up, I was informed I could drive if I wanted a PissyBitch ™ for a co-pilot. After contemplating my options, I handed him the keys. (Ahhhh... truly thou art wise beyond thy years, lass. -ed)

My directions came in handy soon after we were on the road. He wanted to go up 270 towards the PA turnpike. I wanted to go up 95, as indicated on the directions…. I prevailed after a long whiny tirade about how I was the navigator and if he insisted on driving, he had to do as I said. I won this issue. (I'm sorry, ma'am, but the Captain has turned on the "No Whining/Pouting" light. You'll have to put that lower lip away. We have some lovely space in the overhead bins if you can't fit it under the seat in front of you. -ed)

The drive was scenic for the most part, and the weather cooperated by continuing its overcast tint. We did make several observations along the way we thought you, the gentle readers would appreciate:

~ The worst drivers are from Maryland.

~ Somehow the warm fuzzy connotations to the term “Sexual Predator” have been lost. Its now GarGar’s quest to make himself the “Warm Cuddly Sexual Predator.” Or at least add it to his sigline. Perhaps that will help in his on-line search for a Mrs. Clanchief.(Yeah... I can hear them knocking on the doors now. I'm just not sure why they all have torches and are carrying buckets of tar and feathers. -ed)

~ The strangest sign I ever saw was 10 miles south of the faire for a company called “SexChick, Inc.” with the motto, “Serving with Excellence”… Almost lost in the fervor of that rather modest sign, was another line of text describing the nature of the business as “Poultry Services.” The Clanchief and I hypothesized that the Pennsylvania Dutch must forgo the sheep in favor of more fowl pursuits… (d’oh!) (*groan* -ed)

We arrived at PARF just after noon. The overcast day had burnt off somewhat, leaving that steamy tropical heat we are so familiar with in the opening weeks of MDRF.

Just inside the gate we encountered the friendly faces of Bevin & Andre, Vixen and Hunter, all of whom were as beautiful as ever, and sporting new finery. We then stopped by the As You Like It booth to pay a visit to Gareth’s old friend Tina, who was doing a brisk business on opening weekend. Later in our wanderings we also happened upon LynneD and Randy in their gorgeous gold court costumes. Their garb was stunning, but must have been broilingly hot .. which brings me to the BEST part of PARF, in my humble opinion: Misting Arches! Ahhh. And everyone knows: a moist wench is a happy wench. (there! There’s your first naughty bit!, you sicklittlemonkeys!) (Hehehehe... she said "moist".... hehehehe -butt'ed)

We should also note that both the Chieftain and I were under a strict, self-imposed austerity program not to succumb to pretty sparkly things. That restraint was sorely tested for him in one of the first tents we walked into: A statuette of a very Lara Croftian babe dressed in a leather bikini (drooool... -ed) standing akimbo over the severed head of an enormous dragon. He marveled at its “artistry”…. umm: is that the term they are using for “leather thong on Lara Crofty” women these days? Guess so…. *EG* (I like art! -ed)

We were sooo good not spending money, only breaking down for some relatively inexpensive, but completely VITAL pirate accessories. (He bought a new purple do-rag, an eyepatch and a sparkly, girlie skullncrossbones necklace (Whoa, whoa, whoa! Stop the Memory Wagon right there. It is NOT sparkly or girlie at all! In fact I scared several small children by the front gate while wearing it! So there. Humphff... girlysparklymyass... -ed) to complete his Pirate Invasion Ensemble… whattagirl! (biteme -ed)). I picked up a bracelet for the Dread Pyrate Keltique and an eyepatch for my home-bound husband, the Dread Pyrate Russell.

Well: let me amend that statement: I was good. Gar was good until AFTER we left the faire. Then we went into the attached wine store/gift shop and the Chiefy spied the new bobble-head figurines.(Which are so damn cool!! There shall be pictures! -ed) Then he found some wind up jousting knight toys that can be made to battle each other. “Do you think the ClanLad would like these?” he asked, with a childlike gleam in his eyes. “Oh yes… Clanlad would LOVE them.”

Now, you and I both know they will end up on Gareth’s desk at work as he orchestrates furious battles between the blue and red knights while waiting for the next tech-support call. But we humor him because he is a boy and we love him. His spending spree on toys set him back fifty bucks… but I think he is happy with his new treasures, so I couldn’t nag too much.(*blowing raspberries* -ed)

Right before we left, we were dragged into the one of the less prominent displays of Odysseus’ Bed. A 2 ton bed constructed out of naturally fallen tree trunks. (That was the weirdest thing... like a carnival sideshow. They had it sectioned off and charged $2 to look at it. Granted it's big and all... but it's a FREAKIN' BED!! So yeah, I took pictures of it. I'm such a tourist. -ed) Of course the bed was swarming with herds of Dane children recovering from the heat in the relative coolness of the shady bower. I think there is a picture of us climbing on the bed somewhere. (Second not-so-naughty bit) (I just said that. -ed)

We hoofed it back to the car. He gave me a bodicegasm by unlacing me (third and last naughty bit!) (I still say the "When Harry Met Sally" noises were a bit over the top... *g* -ed) and we set off for home around 5. We met the storms along the way and were bogged down in traffic, but he had started to relay the events of the past few years, so time flew quickly for me.

When we finally returned to Arlington, Gareth and I had bonded over faire and good conversation. The brief time spent in Mount Hope was nice, but the ride there and back was better. I’m glad I decided to have him come with me, besides which, three naughty bits in one day is worth writing about! (Exactly.... most people don't have that many naughty bits in one day! *g* -ed)

The End.

Ani Moorehead MacDobhran
~ Copyright holder and Purveyor of the SuchAPinch (tm)

~ 3163 coins donated

Rampant Anticipation

August 20, 2001


The last couple weeks have been pretty busy around the old castle. Between people at work taking vacations, out of state Faires, school and various social engagements ('cause ya know, I am just so the social butterfly...) I have barely had time to sleep much less keep up with these updates. I hope you all enjoyed Sunni's recollections about our trip to Blob's Park for Ani's and her birthday party. I was quite serious when I offered to let anyone who has the desire use this space. Ani Moorehead should be along sometime this week with her epic version of our adventures at PARF this past Sunday. I'm kinda curious as to whether she'll leave out the naughty bits or not.

*LOL* You people are so easily titillated. But seriously, that's two married women and two single women that I've gone on roadtrips with this month. I don't know if this has helped or added to my "Pissy Bitch (tm)" reputation. Of course I may have a whole other reputation by now, but I'm not entirely sure that I want to know about it. *G*

It looks like I'll be going into the 2001 MDRF season completely single. The online personal ad route doesn't seem to be working out very well. Although I did have high hopes for one of my respondents. However she cancelled out on our date this week so I'm still not sure what that means. Egads! It's almost the end of August and I haven't gone out on any dates this month. (No, you can't count the aforementioned roadtrips because A: they weren't real dates and B: half of them were married and C: because I said so. :-p ) Danicia indicated there were many new and available DC area lasses that have joined the Wenches Guild since last year. She keeps teasing me by promising to parade them all in front of me on Opening Weekend. Unfortunately my last class is Opening Day, but I will be there on Sunday the 26th. And no, I will NOT be bringing the Clanlad with me. I found out yesterday that his mother is taking him to the beach for a week starting this Tuesday. (Okay, Keltik, you can stop dancing around now...) Yes, I'm aware that there is plotting going on for my birthday (which is AUGUST 28th so start shopping now!) and in retaliation for the Birthday Present of Wrong, so this is your official notice, ladies. I shall indeed be completely unaccompanied this Sunday, so bring it on, baby! Personally I liked Danicia's idea that since it's MY birthday, I should get to spank 34 different Wenches (signup sheet is in the lobby) on Sunday.

I'm looking forward to this season with... you guessed it, rampant anticipation.

~ 6 coins donated

Special Guest Star... Sunnidae

August 17, 2001

Ah ha! In the absence of the Clan Chief, I -- the Castle's Menacing TabbyWench -- have chased away the ogres and am now in control of the castle! Wheeee! I can run in the hallways! I can change the drapes! I can dress up in Gareth's kilts and terrorize the sheep!

Speaking of whom ... have any of you seen the Clan Chief? Witnesses say he returned to NYRF on August 4-5; he must have pictures from that trip to add to the original Tux photos. And then on August 11, I shared a ride with him to Ani Moore-MacDobhran's birthday party. Can I just tell you -- don't EVER get into a car with this man unless you've brought your own map. Alternatively, just don't ever let me into your car if you don't know where you're going. We spent an hour driving around in circles, trying to find our way OUT of DC, because -- oh wait. I suppose he *will* be back eventually. In the interests of my own self-preservation, let's just leave it at that, shall we?

Once we finally found Blob's Park, much fun was had by all -- everyone truly enjoyed the beer and bratwurst, and Ani and I both received wonderful presents! (Ok, I did not enjoy beer OR bratwurst. But there was fried cheese, and chocolate birthday cake!) There was a polka band, and the man with the microphone sounded just like Doctor Demento! (And NO, this wasn't my 12th birthday. Thank you for asking.) It's too bad I chased the ogres away before they had a chance to post the photos ...

~Menacing Tabby Wench

~ 8 coins donated

Tux Pictures

August 7, 2001

I'm still in the process of writing about the weekend. The problem is that there are too many distractions right now. I might finish it tonight, if I can just have some quiet. *g* But since I know how you hunger for some tidbit from me, I've had the Castle Ogres working overtime to bring you the latest images from the NYRF (Tux). Hopefully there will be a story to go along with it soon, but for now... Enjoy the pics!!

~ 4 coins donated

On the road again...

August 3, 2001

Wow, I really don't update here often enough do I? Well, it's been a pretty busy week, especially at work where we've had several people out on vacation for most of this week. That's left me no time for much of anything. However, I did manage to coordinate another crack fueled trip to the NY area. (Of course promises of tights and leather things had nothing to do with it. *g*) FaithMoo has once again consented to place life and limb under the control of the PissyBitch (tm). Yes, it's true, your beloved Clanchief is quite capable of turning into the PissyBitch (tm). I know, I know.... it's hard to believe. And yet it remains so very true.

We've also managed to bitchnap the Red Headed Hottie. We shall have her amuse us that the miles might pass quicker. Will she sing? Will she juggle? Will she dance about for our amusement? Who knows, but stayed tuned for Monday's update to find out about the hilarity and hijinks from this weekend.

I know... I know... I owe you a big update since I never got around to regaling you with tales from last weekend. Patience, my wee otters...

~ 3 coins donated