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March 27, 2002

AAAIIIIIIIEEEE! There are only 10 days left until NCRF! Now I know many of you out there in the hinterlands are saying, "Well duh, Your Wise and Benevolent Chiefiness. We already knew that."

Hey, I never claimed to be the sharpest cannonball on the rack. In my head, I know NCRF is next weekend and that it is fast approaching but somehow it didn't register that I only have one weekend left to get ready.

I see you out there waving your hand furiously in the air like Kermit the Frog after a grande double caffe' latte. What's that? You want to know what I could possibly need to do since I'm not working the Faire and I have all the garb I need? Well, since that bodice is so becoming on you, dear lass *leer* I will enlighten you.

I may or may not have mentioned before but I had an idea a while ago about what I wanted this year's Faire tokens (those little decorated pins that you hand out to friends at Renaissance Faires) to be. No, I'm not going to tell you what they are yet but suffice to say they shall rock.

In Training News:
I stumbled upon this website about a guy in New York City who went to a two week course based on the Navy SEAL's physical training regimen known as BUD/S. First of all, Peter (the guy who took the course) is one funny writer. I was literally laughing outloud. He doesn't exactly give a detailed description about the forms of the exercises but basically the program doesn't use any equipment other than your own body (except for the occasional medicine ball or log). Think of it as all those calisthenics that we did in Jr. High only multiplied by a factor of 1,000. The program is more about pushing yourself, focus and truly realizing that you CAN do anything you want to do. Tony Robbins on crack. Oh yeah, the Clanchief loves him some motivational shit.

Speaking of motivation, I just got electronically *thwapped* by Marcy because I ran out of my Coumadin last week and haven't gotten more. Because I am a bright and smart in-duh-vidual, I also mentioned that my right leg was noticeably swollen right now from all the training I've been doing.

I'll just stand here while the Thwapping Line forms to the right.

~ 9 coins donated

Men At Work

March 19, 2002

Alright, alright.... jeesh. I know I haven't done an update in a while, but when people start taking bets on when that will occur then it's time to appease the masses. Fortunately for you though, I will not be appeasing said masses with any cheesy 80's tunes from Australian bands in funny hats.

The Clanlad has been busy with his Tiger Scout den. We did a conservation project in the deep, dark wilds of a county park last Saturday. Since it was such a nice day out, we did some man-work at home also. I bought some mulch, grass seed and those garden border thingys from Home Depot. So while the Clanlad went off to play with his friend across the street (I guess his contribution was staying out of the way...), I built a couple of flower beds around the dandelions in the front yard. They turned out pretty damn nice if I do say so myself. If it ever stops raining, maybe I'll take some pictures this weekend.

So anyway, between my regular walk training and the constant bending over this weekend, I spent most of Sunday hobbling around the house (it was raining outside) because the backs of my thighs were so sore and tight. And to top that all off, I think I have a bonespur growing in my damn heel. *sigh*

Speaking of the Avon Breast Cancer Walk... I now have donations (or at least promises thereof) totalling $1,000. Woo-hoo! And just as an added incentive, (although if the IRS asks, you got nothing from me but a thank you!) I'm working on a little gift (one might even say "token") of gratitude for those of you who assist me with this goal. So come on, all you people who are sitting on the fence, and help me reach that magical figure of $1,900!

~ 7 coins donated

Save the Boobies! (Part Deux)

March 12, 2002

I am writing today regarding a subject very near and dear to my heart. Actually it's probably near and dear to your heart too, if not physically then certainly on an emotional level. I am, of course, speaking of those wonderful anatomical creations known as boobs. (Or as I am fond of expressing it, B@@Bs!)

Cleavage, Food-Catchers, Soft Pillows of Love-Flesh -- no matter what you choose to call them, they are as varied as the females who possess them. (And as any 13 year old boy who has ever tried the yawning-reach-around maneuver in a darkened movie theater knows, it is most assurdedly the female who owns and controls them!) Yet despite our collective fondness and love, the breast is in danger, my friends.

The American Cancer Society estimates that over 180,000 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer this year, and over 40,000 will die. There are over one million women in America with undetected breast cancer. Your chance of knowing one of these women is almost 100%. Does this shock you?

How did we, as American males, allow this perverted killer to sneak into the bedrooms of our women and violate them so? Personally, I'm ashamed. Ashamed and shocked. And angry, definitely angry. I'm angry that while I have been happily suckling at the teet of complacency, a deadly disease has been growing inside of women that I know and care about. I'm so angry that I have joined the Avon Breast Cancer 3-Day Walk, where I will walk 20 miles a day for 3 days in a row -- that's 60 miles in 72 hours! With more than 3,000 other people, I will walk from Baltimore, Maryland to Washington, D.C. on May 3 - 5, 2002.

So, I am asking no, begging, you to consider helping educate every single person in this country about the early detection and survival of breast cancer. Each walk participant must raise $1900.00; and this donation goal must be met before April 30, 2002. (I've already raised approximately half!) This is probably the biggest challenge of my life so far, but it pales in comparison with the challenge faced by women and men with breast cancer. Because make no mistake, men can get breast cancer too. Every year, about 1,500 men will be diagnosed with the disease.

You can donate by credit card online by going to and choosing "Avon Breast Cancer 3-Day, Washington DC-2002" from the dropdown menu. This will take you to a site where you can run a search on walker number (9228).

If you prefer writing a check, you can go to and enter my Participant Number (9228) and my Participating Event (Avon Breast Cancer 3-Day, Washington DC - 2002) in the appropriate boxes. Then click on the Get Donation Form button. You will need to have Adobe Acrobat (which you can download for free from the same page). Just print out the donation form and email me ( for my snailmail address. Make your check out to Avon Breast Cancer 3-Day and put Walker #9228 somewhere on the front of the check.

The Wenches of Local #42 have several women walking in this event. As often as we proclaim admiration of a well bodiced lass, I think it ill behooves me, as a Rogue, not to support Team Wench. I'm showing my support by not only contributing money but walking with them. How about you? Don't YOU want to be a breast supporter too?!

Huzzah! Save the Boobies!!

~ 4 coins donated

The Friday Five (Part III in a series)

March 8, 2002

1. What's your favorite vacation spot? Probably anywhere there's a Faire. *g* I know it's kind of lame, but I'm not a big vacation kinda guy. I've probably taken two "official" vacations (one to Disneyworld and one to California) in my adult life. I wouldn't mind going to Scotland, England, Australia, Canada, France... but I have no burning desire to travel.

2. Where do you consider to be the biggest hell-hole on earth? Hmmm... I can't think of anywhere that I absolutely despise. Probably the place that I liked the least was Los Angeles.

3. What would be your dream vacation? A secluded cabin in the mountains for at least a week with Celly.

4. If you could go on a road-trip with anyone, who would it be and why? It would depend where I was going and why. I usually do those type of things by myself but I guess I'd let Celly come along. *g* Of course I would have to drive. You don't want to meet The PissyBitch (tm).

5. What are your plans for this weekend? Celly is coming up this weekend so shall be a plethora of sexual activities. IF we ever manage to put on clothing, we shall venture out to do some shopping and then over to Ireland's 4 Provinces restaurant in beautiful downtown Falls Church to help Danicia celebrate her beloved Ed's birthday. On Sunday we'll be taking the Clanlad to see Return to Neverland and maybe to a park if the weather is still nice.

~ 17 coins donated

Happiness Is...

March 4, 2002

I am happy.

No, really I mean it. I am honest to goodness, deleriously happy despite my tales of woe from last week. It's been so long since I've felt this good that I can barely remember the last time. Maybe I've never been this happy.

Yeah, I pretty much blame all of this recent giddiness on Celly, my lovely Wench. I've never been one to believe that someone else will necessarily "complete" me (Jerry McGuire notwithstanding) as a person but lemme tell ya, it's amazing what finding the right person for you can do. I feel... energized. That's not exactly the right word but it's close. Whenever I'm around her and for days afterwards I walk about 3 inches off the ground and just look for ways to make myself a better person. And the great thing is that I have her snowed into thinking she loves me too! Bwahahaha!

I know, this isn't a particularly interesting update to most of you but it's been a busy day. If you're that bored why don't you click on this link and pledge some money for Breast Cancer research for walker #9228. (That's ME by the way!)

~ 4 coins donated