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Another Day in Cubeville

February 28, 2002

So we've moved (here at work) and for the most part we've gotten settled in. The whole problem with this move is that it's generally a good idea for a Helpdesk to be centralized, both in location and attitude. Eventually we hope to at least get these two cubicles configured into on large one so we can see each other. Maybe I'll even get some countertop space so I can stop banging my knee on this wooden desk.

I have every faith that our federal government will have this taken care of by no later than 2005.

Fuck.

Again I say, fuck. I just found out that I can't fundraise for the 3-Day walk at work. Since I essentially work for the government (or as I like to refer to them "Fuckwads") and as such I "cannot send out this (my fundraising letter) to any of the DoDEA personnel. Itís considered solicitation of the Government which is a no-noÖ."

*sigh*

~ 2 coins donated



Welcome to Cubeville

February 27, 2002

I hate my job.

No, that's not really true. I'm beginning to hate my supervisor though. She was out sick all last week and I don't know if that's too much time alone for her or if being sick makes her cranky or what. This week, and I'm not exagerrating, everything I do or have ever done is WRONG. I thought at first that maybe I was being sensitive or paranoid, however my co-worker noticed it also. She has not said a single positive thing in my direction all week and this is a woman who is extremely personable and always happy and smiling. I'm trying very hard to deal with it and I have brought it up to our big boss. He seemed to have noticed it also and will most likely say something tactful. I just hate feeling like a tattletale but I honestly was starting to have thoughts of quitting.

Okay, I'm done for now. I just needed to vent that a little.

The other good/bad news is that we moved this morning from an old conference room with four cubicles in it to two normal sized cubicles. So yeah, I'm currently sitting at a wooden office desk inside a cubicle that I share with someone else.

Please make sure your pocket protectors are securely fastened and keep your CAT-5 cables and mousepads inside the cubicle at all times.

~ 3 coins donated



21st Century Quotes

February 24, 2002

Well, I've ended up doing exactly nothing this weekend. All those plans from Friday's update have taken a backseat to the fact that I've felt like hammered horseshit all weekend. So in an effort not strain my poor widdle bwain, I'm posting some of the more infamous quotes from the last two years. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed remembering them. 'Cause you know it's all about you, my loyal readers.

"Who's yer shepherd?!?!"

"I'm out of the closet and Bi-Garble!" - On the occassion of my first wearing of tights

"So for a round of Wench Golf, just how many Wenches would one need?" -Mr. The Dragon at a party. (*sniff* I was so proud of that boy)

"Oops, that wasn't a fart!" -FaithyMoo relaying a story from her past

"Security, we have a drunk." -From Tux 2000

QUOTES FROM THE HOUSE OF S'TAN & THE ADVOCATE OF WRONG:

"But it's so CUTE!!" - Lisa making Alison blush

"Yup, I'm clean." - Alison, while sticking her hand up her dress

"You can scream 'c*ntrag' in a crowded, Irish restaurant, but you can't say the word 'nipple' in a room full of your closest friends??!" -Gareth, after Alison got stuck on the word "nipple" while telling a story.

Alison: "...Miss Malaysia."
Faith: "WHAT?? Miss Fellatia?"
Crickett: "No, Malaysia... it's a c*ntry."

"You are just so WRONG!" - Bronxelf after opening her Twinkie the Kid dashboard ornament

"I don't think Timothy Leary and Hunter S. Thompson could have had a more surreal conversation." - John, referring to a conversation between
Bronxelf (www.bronxelf.com) and her mother about the upcoming nuptuals.

(a low whisper) "I see stupid people. They're everywhere. They only see what they want to see... they don't know they're stupid." - Gareth

"Why is she spitting on her?!?" - Lisa, shocked.

"Those are real." - Marcy and Adam in unison.

"I *AM* DJ Tightywhitey and those are some hairy mo'fo's." - Crickett

Alison: "I'm a Hobbit."
Lisa: "Don't they have big, hairy feet?"
Alison: "Yes."
Gareth: "I'll bet they're orange."

~ What's your 2 pence?



Avon Breast Cancer 3-Day

February 23, 2002

I need your help.

As most of you know, I've signed up to walk in the Avon Breast Cancer 3-Day walk. Thankfully I've never known anyone that has had or has breast cancer. That's not why I'm doing this.

I am doing it because it's a good cause. Because a group of women that I care dearly about care about this issue. I'm doing this because when I went into the hospital, without insurance, because of a massive blotclot in my leg, people I knew and people I didn't rallied in support. I realized then how lucky I am to have such a wonderful network of friends and loved ones. I just think it's high time I paid back some of that karma.

The walk is going to take place May 3-5, 2002. We are going to walk from Baltimore, MD to the Mall in DC. It's approximately 60 miles (that's 20 miles a day). Unfortunately this doesn't leave me much time to raise the requisite $1900 in donations. They say that all the donations should be in by March 31st in order for the walker to get credited for them.

I want you to think about the women in your life. Your mother, your sister, your aunt, your daughter, your friend, yourself (and yes, men can get breast cancer too). What would you feel if one of them was diagnosed with breast cancer... or found a lump one morning. Would you kick yourself for not taking this opportunity to help find a cure?

I challenge each of you to think about these questions and walk with me for one day. Just one. Only you don't even have to break a sweat. All you have to do is go to the Avon Breast Cancer 3-Day website and click on the "Make an Online Donation for a 2002 Walker" link in the bottom right-hand side. That will take you to a search page where you can enter in my 2002 Walker number (9228). (I was just informed that some people are have trouble with the website timing out when trying to make a donation. If you have trouble please just email me with your name and address and I'll mail you hard copy of the donation form.)

Please join me and make the commitment to walk with me by donating one day's pay to find a cure for Breast Cancer.

~ What's your 2 pence?



The Friday Five (Part II in a series)

February 22, 2002



1. What was the first thing you ever cooked? I can't really remember. It was probably either pancakes or eggs. My father was a big pancake fan and used to make "silver dollar" sized pancakes. Sometimes we'd even have them for dinner. Since I was always into camping and the outdoors, the first thing I cooked could have been something called a Hunter's Meal. That's where you cut up carrots, potatoes and onions, put them in a square of aluminum foil along with a fistful of hamburger meat, wrap it all up and stick the whole thing into the coals of a campfire. Now THAT'S good eats!

2. What's your signature dish? Mmm, this is tough. I don't really have a signature dish because I don't cook all that often. I can make any style of eggs, sausage and bacon for breakfast. I've tried my hand at other dishes but never enough to call one my own. Since my honey Celly is a vegetarian I guess I should get a good vegetarian cookbook and start practicing, huh?

3. Ever had a cooking disaster? (tasted like crap, didn't work, etc.) Describe. Not really. Things haven't come out exactly like I wanted them on occassion but so far nothing that I would call a disaster.

4. If skill and money were no object, what would make for your dream meal? Lobster bisque, baked potato, green beans, salmon or chicken and a good salad. Disappointing, huh? I'm not really that knowledgable when it comes to food. I can usually find something I like on a menu but I'm by no means a connoisseur.

5. What are you doing this weekend? Mostly trying to get over this cough/stuffiness that started to grip me last night. I also want to get some studying done. I have been meaning to sort through some of my old Sci-Fi/Fantasy books and give some of them away. And as long as this doesn't turn into full blown flu, I need to get some serious walking miles in.

~ 4 coins donated



BWAHAHAHA!

February 21, 2002

Now this is funny!




Come get your fortune read!

Created by ptocheia

~ What's your 2 pence?



Vrrroooooom!

February 21, 2002

I never did tell you how the Clanlad did in his first Cub Scout Pinewood Derby a couple weeks ago, did I? Unfortunately he didn't win any of the heats so he didn't get to participate in the final race. That's not to say that he came in dead last though; he was somewhere in the middle of the 13 car spread. Mostly he just enjoyed watching his car go down the track and cheering.

He didn't win or place in the "Show" catagory either. Not to be bitter but either the Lad's den is blessed with some amazing artists or some of the parents didn't understand the "let the boys do their own work" part of the instructions. Really, I'm not bitter or upset because to me, and the Lad, the most important thing was that he get to sand and paint his own car. The only thing I did on it was cut the wood and put the wheels on.

Now you want to see pictures, huh? Well, they're on my computer at home so I'll throw a bunch up this evening somewhere and post another update then. Hey, patience is a supposed to be a virture, ain't it?

In other news, I'm still training for the Avon Breast Cancer 3-Day walk. I think I pushed it too hard the other day because all day yesterday my heel was feeling funny. It didn't hurt necessarily, it just felt "not right". So I didn't walk last night, which kinda sucks because the weather was pretty mild here, and today it feels fine. I don't know if I'll walk tonight because I have to go to a Blue & Gold dinner for the Lad's Cub Scout troop. If it's too late and cold then I'll do some weights inside. I'm thinking I should get a Tae Bo tape or something to supplement my walking. What do you think?

~ What's your 2 pence?



My Valentine's Day Weekend

February 18, 2002

Well, at least one person was curious as to my devilish plans this past weekend. I was wondering what to do for mine and Celly's very first Valentine's Day. It had to be a secret. It had to be semi-evil. It had to be both romantic and very sexual. (By the way, you might want to hide the children's eyes about now. I'm going to get a little more risque than I normally do.) It had to have a big payoff.

I called my lovely Celly from the road and let her know that once she saw me pull up, she should make sure the door was unlocked and scurry off to hide in her bedroom. Under no circumstances was she to come out until I came to get her. As soon as I got inside, I started laying out preprinted cards in various spots throughout the house. Then I went into the computer room and placed a wooden treasure chest on the floor. The chest contained a card, rubber ducky (she just got a new water heater and has been enjoying steaming baths lately), a fuzzy hopping heart toy, a small book of Irish blessings (for her Faire character) and a Precious Moments figurine of a little girl holding a big musical note. Next to the chest I put a box of dark chocolate ('cause evidently milk chocolate is for wimps). On top of the chest I placed 6 peach colored roses. No, the color didn't have any special meaning. Those were just the nicest ones the store had. Then I started blowing up balloons and laid them all around the chest.

Once all was in readiness, I prepared to fetch my love from her place of concealment. This of course involved getting naked. (Don't look at me like that, I told you to hide the children's eyes.) I knocked on her door (with my HAND, perverts!) and handed Celly a preprinted card that instructed her to "search for the room with porcelein throne". Oh shoosh, some of the clues were better than that one.

When she got to each new card there were also instructions for her to perform some type of task. *ahem* I think I'll just leave it at that and let your imaginations run wild. Did I mention that she was naked also?!? Hehehehehe...

Finally she got to the last card and found her way into the computer room. Needless to say she was very surprised and pleased with her gifts. Very pleased. Then she gave me my Valentine's Day gift.

Did I mention she was naked?!?

~ 8 coins donated



...does whatever a spider can!

February 15, 2002

Now normally I don't go in for taking all these "web tests" but since it was Valentine's Day yesterday (and the test is only 5 questions), I went ahead and took this one. Yeah, it's true. I used to be a big ol' Marvel comic geek. But come on, who didn't want to be Wolverine when they were younger?! Before graduating to the X-Men, when I was about my son's age (7years old), Spiderman was my favorite. I loved the cartoon and later the television show. I even had a Spiderman lightswitch cover. And can I just tell you how incrediblely jazzed I am about the new Spiderman movie coming out this summer!?! My only regret is that I was a generation too early to get in on the whole Underroos phenomenom. Thankfully they make more than tighty whiteys in adult sizes now.

Um... not that I've ever bought anything like that.




Which Star-Crossed Marvel Lover Are You?

I'll be in NC this weekend to celebrate a belated Valentine's Day with my Wench. I have quite the surprise lined up for her. Should I tell you what it is? Promise you won't spill the beans before I get down there??

Ha! Yeah, right. You'll just have to wait until Monday's update. Hehehehee...

~ 4 coins donated



Happy Ash Wednesday

February 13, 2002

This is my BOOMSTICK!!

~ 3 coins donated



Fat Tuesday

February 12, 2002

No, I do not mean that it is Tuesday and I'm still fat. As true as both those statements might be however, that will not be the focus of this update, boys and girls. Today is the last day of Mardi Gras. The last day to indulge in all those hedonistic revelries and feasting before Lent starts. It is also known as Pancake Day because the making of pancakes uses up rich ingredients like butter and eggs. (Oh you didn't know that you're not supposed to eat that stuff during Lent?? Heathens. *g*)

I'm fairly certain that most of you, my loyal readers, are either Pagan, Not-Affiliated-With or some form of Protestant. If you're anything like me, you don't really pay all that much attention to Mardi Gras (unless we're throwing a really big party!), Pancake Day (mmmmm... fluffy.) or Lent (not to be confused with "lint" of which we are ALL gleefully aware of thanks to The Marcy) other than wondering if this is one of those "present giving" kind of things. However this year, things shall be different.

I think this is such a good time to reevaluate all those New Year's resolutions and just where your are in this journey we call life. I'm going to actually use this time to *really* improve myself. Yes, that would be opposed to the half-assed attempts that I usually make, Mr. SnarkyDraw'rs. I'm doing well with my aforementioned life changes but I want to do better. I've started training for the Avon Breast Cancer 3 Day walk (and yes, I will be hitting up each and every one of you, my loyal and faithful readers, for a donation to this worthwhile cause.). I'm hoping that as I get used to it, my leg won't swell up like a mo-fo after every training walk I do. I'll post more on the 3-Day once my number is officially on the website.

So what are you doing for Lent?

~ 1 coin donated



The Friday Five (Part I in a series)

February 8, 2002

Realizing that I could quite possibly shock, disappoint or alienate some of you, I decided to go ahead and throw up my answers to these five questions (stealthily stolen from here). If this gets a good response, I might make it a weekly thing here at the old castle.

1. What's the most romantic thing you've ever done for someone else? This is hard because I'm a huge romantic. I've done things from sending flowers and chocolate to anonymous love letters to random rose hits with poetry to long distance treasure hunts.

I think it all started when I was in 5th grade and madly, madly I say, in love with Holly LaValle. *swoon* I used to write her love letters with a purple ink pen, sign them as the "Purple Phantom" (Even then I was stealthy!) and slip them into her milkbox mailbox. (This was back in the old days when milk came in carboard half gallon boxes, like the quart size ones you see today.) This went on for probably about a month or two and I enjoyed watching her reactions. She would blush, giggle with her girlfriends and sweep her eyes across the male half of grade 5 wondering who it was. Knowing that I was responsible for generating such excitement and joy in an older woman (she was 11 afterall) was quite the heady feeling to a young 10 year old lad. That is until I fessed up. Needless to say nothing ever came of it. While not the first female I had a crush on, she was the first one I tried to seduce.

2. What are your erogenous zones? Well, besides the obvious one that every male claims, I would have to say that my neck and back are pretty sensitive. That kinda explains why I'm such a backscratch slut, doesn't it? *g*

3. How old were you the first time you had sex? 18
(Care to expound?)
Not for lack of trying but I didn't actually have sex until my first year of college. I had dated a couple girls before in high school and gone to second or third base. It wasn't until a snowy night in January that Stephanie brought me into manhood. We dated for two and a half years after that. (Hmmm... she was a year older than I too. I'm sensing a trend.)

4. What's the most unusual place you've ever had sex? Wow, this is a hard one. I'd have to say the most unusual place was under a waterfall in the Shenandoah mountains when I was in my early twenties. Hopefully by next year I'll have a more interesting locale to report. *whistling innocently* By the way, this happened with a younger woman.

5. Do you have plans for Valentine's Day or is it just another Thursday? Technically it'll just be another Thursday since the Wench (Um, I mean my sweet Celly, of course.) will be in another state. However, we will be celebrating that weekend. And it's a three day weekend too. Hehehehehe.

Now what are your answers? Oh come on... nobody's looking. All the cool kids are doing it! Honest.

~ 3 coins donated



Mr. Happy Crack says...

February 6, 2002






Remember, not all crack is your friend.





And if you have't seen it, go peek at the pics from the Three Raven's Pirate Feast!














~ 8 coins donated



Save the Boobies!

February 4, 2002

*whew!* Well the Three Raven's Ship Launch Pirate Feast was a smashing success. Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves and we raised over $3,000 for Breast Cancer Research! I spent most of the night in the downstairs area selling raffle tickets and pins so I didn't get to see any of the acts that were performing. I could hear the foot stamping though so I'm assuming everyone was enjoying themselves.

Either that or someone introduced clog dancing.

We did end up with way too much food and beer but at least we'll have a better idea regarding consumption for next year.

Yes, I've already thought about next year. I have some ideas. Hehehehe...

~ What's your 2 pence?



A quickie

February 1, 2002

Well, I know I'm way behind on updating this but it's been a really busy week, what with planning for the Three Raven's Pirate Feast. I'll be back online Sunday night. I'll try to post an update and maybe some pictures then. Have an excellent weekend!

~ 4 coins donated