"Sheep Wooing"

09/16/2002

That's right, loyal reader, it's time to put on your snarky caps and come up with some interesting dialog for the above picture. Since I was only at MDRF on Saturday last weekend I only took 6 pictures all day. If I had been thinking clearly I would have given my camera to someone in the afternoon to take pictures of the Clanchief's return to sports.

Saturday afternoon, I was coerced by several surreptitious Wenches into participating in the "MDRF Lowland Games." It seems the Local Madame (i.e., Keltik, the Ringleader) managed to tyrannize convince someone on cast that it would be a good idea for the IWG Local #42 to be the judges for the Lowland Games. So under the guise of a "Best Knees" contest, I tagged along with Keltik, Ani, Dee, Chris S., Loni and Lilly from the Dragon Inn all the way up to the front of the Faire. Naturally since I was well acquainted with the distinguished panel of judges (i.e., they all know me. Not like that! Perverts.) I thought it wise to do a little um, "preemptive negotiating." I used my second most valuable commodity, some neck-nibbling and massages, (I didn't want to completely overwhelm the poor lasses after all!) to try swaying some votes my way. It was working pretty well if I do say so myself. Deals were struck, promises were made. *wink-wink, nudge-nudge*

Sadly women are such fickle creatures that the first tall, blond, athletic guy in a kilt caused near complete memory loss. *sigh*

However, that was not the end of things. It seems there were two more games to be played. The next competition was to be "Sheep Wooing." Now I know what you're thinking and you're right. This event had my name written all over it. They gave Ani, Keltik and Lilly three stuffed sheep to hold. The object was for each of the Scots (there were a dozen of us kilted lads) to woo each of the sheep and try to convince them to come back to the line with us. The first time out I convinced Keltik to come by virtually growling "Baah!" at her. Since round one ended as a three way tie, we went to round two. Once again we each approached the lasses and their charges intent on possession. This time I used a slightly more cutesy inflection on my "Baahs" and walked away with Lilly. Unfortunately, it was another three way tie so sad to say, I'm not the undisputed sheep wooing champion.

The third and thankfully final contest was the "Haggis Relay." This involved three teams of four, three tube socks, two spoons and a big bucket of oatmeal. I'm sure you get the idea but let me assure you, it was much worse than you can imagine. Oatmeal is sticky! It sticks to your hands, your clothes, your brand new bracers. It also looks exactly like you've just blown chunks.

From your little solar plexus. Meow, meow, meow.

i keep coming back to the word "revolting" when i think of the "stuff yer haggis" contest... and thank GOD it happened last. if ya had tried to woo me sheep covered in oatmeal, id have kicked ya in the cahones, scotsman! yaarrrrr! ~ Ani @ 9:52 p.m. EST on 09/16/2002