"The Unclean Masses"

07/13/2001

Recently I have been perusing some dating sites on the web and I've noticed an alarming trend in personal ads placed by females. I had a chance to discuss this trend briefly with The Marcy when she was here last weekend and she did indeed confirm the validity of these women's fears. It seems that right up there with "sense of humor", "physically fit" and "dump truck full of cash" an overwhelming majority of women are requesting prospective dates with "good personal hygiene". At first I thought that maybe I was misunderstanding the term or that it might be some sort of female code for "huge penis". The Marcy assured me this was not the case. She immediately went off on her favorite subject... bellybutton care & maintenance, but I quickly reigned her in by offering to let her check mine right there in public.

Still, I was shocked, I tell you. I can't believe that someone would go on a date (especially a first date) without showering, brushing, scrubbing and generally being fungus free. You know, comb your hair, put on deodorant, wear clothes from the closet not the floor. If you're feeling particularly wild and crazy, go ahead and slap some cologne on. La vida loca, baby!

I only bring this to forefront of our collective consciousness because of the fact that I shall hopefully be going on a First Date this weekend. Yes, we started corresponding through a personal ad site, but I figure hey, it's the 21st century. She's in the IT field and her main hobby is spinning & weaving. Not in a martial arts way but in a yarn and wool way. You know what that means, don't you? Free kilting material for life! Whoo-hoo! *g* I shall of course keep you, my faithful readers, informed regarding the results of said date.

If you'll excuse me now, I have to go scrub my bellybutton.

le clanchief penned: "If you're feeling particularly wild and crazy, go ahead and slap some cologne on." Um -- not TOO heavy on the cologne, ok, sparky? ~ the menacing one @ 10:51 p.m. EST on 07/13/2001