"Startling Truths About Marcy"

05/08/2001

So I'm chatting with The Marcy last night and she tells me how her mother has been pimping out her (Marcy's) website to all her friends. Naturally, I'm thinking, "Well, what's that got to do with me?" when she makes the comment that it's because her mother is proud of her. Okay, I guess I can see that happening. But then she tells me that all these friends of her mother are now worried about her because of her dubious association with some people... like Crickett... FaithyMoo... and me.

Me! Can you believe it?!? They're worried about ME! I mean, I can see the need for a certain amount of alarm regarding her afiliation with someone who calls herself "Bug", has well known teddy bear issues and a disturbing habit of mimicking fellow Rennies and certain irreverent late night cartoon characters. Don't even get me started on Faith's unholy obsession with cows, leopard print and feathers. Although you have to be impressed with how she manages to bend the laws of physics to get that many feathers on one hat. But we are not gathered together here this day to discuss Crickett and Faith. Oh no, gentle readers, we are here to defend your Clanchief (that would be me) by pointing the finger of incrimination at Herself, the Leech Pimp.

I wonder if the "Friends of Marcy's Mother" (hitherto known as FMM) know about her sad decline into a world of strange addictions or the various crimes she commits to sustain them. I don't know if the federal authorities would define what she does as a continuing criminal enterprise or an alternative religious practice. I'm afraid to even speculate how the Federal Wildlife and Game Commission would classify it. That's right FMM, the sweet, young Princess Marcy, the Belle of Texas, is actually the head of the largest illegal leech running operation in the country. Shocking, isn't it? Nobody seems to know where she keeps her legions of bloodsucking illegals, but if you're in the market for some quality leeches and don't care whether or not they have the proper papers, Don Marcy is the one to contact. Evidently though leechpimping is profitable enough to keep a steady supply of Pendragoncrack coming into her hidden Boston compound. Holy Homes of the Rich & Famous, Leechgirl!

Perhaps I've said too much already. I'm already considering joining the Witness Protection Program since I forgot about May 6 being Nurses Day. Although the WPP may be full up with Boston area hospital administrators, physicians and agency reps. I just know that I don't want to find any of Don Marcy's little friends in my cafeteria food.

Disclaimer: The preceeding has been a loving tribute in the high form of sarcasm. If you didn't realize that by now, then you should definately not read any further into this site. Thank you. -The Management