"Badges? We dun need no stinkin' badges!"

02/16/2001

In case you were wondering, yes, the roses arrived at the intended destination on Wednesday thanks to FedEx. Whew! Lesse now, I think that gets me off the gift-giving hook for at least another 6 months. Yeah right...

It's been kind of a slow week so there isn't really anything to report or snark to dispense. I'm afraid the best I can do at the moment is to share some more fascinating links with you. Please, try to contain your excitement. Thank you.

Today we'll be stepping into the often fascinating, sometimes strange, world of The Law. Let's start with something relatively local, shall we? Over at Dumb Laws, you can search for your particular state and read up on some the truly strange things people in power have passed. Like how it's illegal to tickle women in the Commonwealth of Virginia (Oops.), or spit on the sidewalk (I wonder if it's illegal to spit on ticklish women on the sidewalk though...), or that not only is it illegal to have sex with the lights on, one may not have sex in any position other than missionary (Yikes!). And whatever you do, for the love of Pete, don't wash your ass on the sidewalk in Culpeper, VA! Although if you're male, I assume you could tickle it as long as you didn't spit at the same time. I fully expect to find the authorities waiting on my doorstep when I get there this evening, or at least nice men in white lab coats.

** This just in... Don't fall asleep in front of the t.v.. Apparently, in Fairfax County, VA (where I live) a law is in the works that says "spaces such as kitchens, living rooms, dining rooms and family rooms shall not be occupied for sleeping purposes". So don't drink too many beers while watching that Sunday afternoon football game lest the Nap Police haul you off to La-La Land Penitentiary.

Well, I guess I could always move to Italy, where evidently bottom slapping is okay and bad housekeeping is grounds for a divorce. Of course, this is the same country that overturned a rape conviction because "victim's jeans were too tight to be removed without her consent". Give me a break.

I guess I'll just have to stay here in the good old U.S. of A. and play Bejeweled while pondering Cries of Romance. Mmmm, I wonder if FedEx would be able to deliver those...